Talking about the good and bad things that happen can lead to happiness - even if it is from opposite ends of the phone line. In a controlled lab experiment, psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University found that the reasons are two-fold: people tend to emphasize positive emotions and mitigate negative ones when telling a story, since memory’s natural bias is to keep tabs on the good stuff and gradually lose the emotional intensity of a bad event; and the process of storytelling can affect how one feels about what happened even up to a week later. In other words, talking about a negative experience made the emotional intensity of that memory fade faster than if the event had not been recounted. Walker says that storytelling works best when there is a lot of audience diversity - it helps to tell the story many times to a variety of people.

Source: www.time.com

Optimism is a learned skill and there are a variety of ways to acquire it, says psychologist Mary Ann Troiani, co-author of Spontaneous Optimism. Through her research, Troiani has come up with three things that you can do to enhance your sense of optimism. First, straighten out your body before your emotions by keeping a straight body posture, taking big steps and walking quickly with your shoulders back and your head up. “People who are pessimistic walk slowly with small steps and their head down,” she says. Second, change your tone of voice so that it is cheerful and full of energy. Third, use upbeat or happier words, such as “challenge” rather than “problem,” or think of “opportunities” rather than “losses.” “Positive thoughts and behavior have a positive impact on the brain’s biochemistry,” she says. “[They] boost your serotonin levels and signal that you’re happy. Your brain will catch up to you.” Troiani reminds us: it takes about 4 to 6 weeks to really change a habit.

Source: www.time.com

Learn to scan your memory bank for your strengths, talents, passions, interests, practical coping skills, and earlier potential - whether it’s actualized or not. Scanning this memory bank and gleaning material that can be used to reinvent yourself to be happier is key, says Barbara Becker-Holstein, psychologist and author of Enchanted Self: A Positive Therapy. For example, someone who would like to be more altruistic can scan their past and know that they didn’t like Girl Scouts in elementary school. That crosses off being a PTA mother. But they might remember that as a child they enjoyed collecting soda bottles and giving the money to the local fire station where they knew the firefighters. That person might consider giving money and time to a local group where they can socialize with people rather than mailing in a check to a distant organization. “Looking at one’s personal style, tastes and interests as we look for ways to be happy today is very important,” says Becker-Holstein.

Source: www.time.com

Stop putting off seeing the aurora lights, warming up in the hot springs of Greenland or learning a new instrument - just do it. If you often do one thing that makes you happy, then try another. Psychologist Rich Walker of Winston-Salem State University looked at 30,000 event memories and over 500 diaries, ranging from durations of 3 months to 4 years, and says that people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to retain positive emotions and minimize negative ones than people who have fewer experiences. Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson, at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill, studies her broaden-and-build hypothesis of positive emotion. Her research suggests that the optimal ratio of positive to negative emotion in humans is above 3 to 1 and below 11 to 1. Walker has observed that once the ratio of positive to negative events hit 1 to 1, it opens the door to potential disorders, such as anxiety and depression.

Source: www.time.com

Happiness can lead to success, rather than just the other way around. Happy individuals are predisposed to seek out new opportunities and set new goals. After reviewing data of 225 studies gathered from more than 275,000 individuals, a team of psychologists concluded that while previous research assumed that happiness stemmed from success and accomplishment, happiness is often a result of positive emotions. Success is the result of many factors, including physical health, intelligence, family and expertise.

Source: www.time.com

Some studies suggest that having an active lifestyle promotes happiness and well being in life. But let’s take a look at the rather amusing article of a blogger from the Philippines that proposes that “There is Happiness in Doing Nothing.”

Here’s an exerpt from her blog:

• “What a waste of time!,” one may think. I think otherwise. After all, you’re spending time with yourself, aren’t you? Making time for yourself is hardly wasted time. By doing nothing, you connect with yourself quietly, meaningfully”

Follow the link to her blog, simply named “Happy Nest” here.

Read the rest of this entry »

Midas might have been an unhappy guy,
but that’s probably because he didn’t know
any other kings who could also turn things
into gold. Money as an absolute may not
make you a happier person but making more
money than others in your age group does,
according to a sociological study done in
2005 by researchers at Pennsylvania State
University. But keeping up with the Joneses
isn’t the only way that money brings happiness.
Saving it for retirement or a rainy day brings
together a variety of positive emotions that
can lead to happiness, such as anticipation and
expectation, a sense of delayed gratification
and reward.

Source www.time.com

Experiences gained in childhood were carried over to maturity of one’s self. Therefore, it is important to develop a foundation of positivity and happiness is one of it.

Raising a happy kid is not as difficult as it seems. Every children has capacity to be happy their entire lives. All one needs is patience and an open mind and by following the five simple steps for a life full of blissful happiness.

Five Steps to Lifelong Joy

Connect with others.

More than any other single factor we can control, connection is the key to a happy childhood, and adulthood. Connection, in the form of unconditional love from an adult, helps foster self-confidence. Try to create an atmosphere at home in which your child feels cared for, welcomed, and treated fairly. According to a study conducted by the National Committee for Citizens in Education, Washington, DC. “When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, their children do better in school.” Without this feeling, kids shy away from new things and experiences.

Foster a can-do attitude.

This is one of the most reliable defenses against depression and despair at any age. Children watch and learn from how you deal with disappointment, be it in your career or at an athletic event or even just in being cut off in traffic. You can encourage competition, making sure that your child experiences both victory and defeat, and help her deal with each. You can use humor to deal with the pain, or bits of philosophy, or simply let your children see that you never give up.

Pretend and play.

Unstructured play hones children’s imagination, teaches critical problem-solving skills, and trains them to tolerate frustration. It also helps children learn that doing things again and again leads to improvement. In fact, play is the most important “work” your child can do. Practice, as part of structured activity, trains children how to receive help and get the most from other adults, such as good teachers and coaches.

Create opportunities for mastery.

With mastery comes confidence, leadership skills, initiative, and an enduring desire for hard work. It transforms a child (or an adult) from a reluctant, fearful learner into a motivated player. One of the great goals of parents, teachers, and coaches should be to find areas in which a child might experience mastery, then, make it possible for the child to feel this potent sensation. Once there, children want to go there again and again.

Provide recognition.

The feeling of being valued by others (friends, family, community) is key. You can exert a tremendous positive influence through the recognition you offer. We adults too quickly forget how much it meant to us when we were young - it meant the world to us, and to children today it still does. Recognition in turn reinforces the sense of connection that all children need.

Keep It Simple

It’s important to say something further about mastery and the hot topic of self-esteem. Some parents think the way to boost a child’s self-esteem is to lavish him with praise. Not so. Self-esteem is rooted in mastery. So, if you want your child to have high self-regard, do not go out of your way to offer praise. Go out of your way to make sure he has plenty of opportunities to experience mastery. And always remember to make sure your child feels connected to others and valued for who he actually is, rather than for just his accomplishments. Children who focus only on mastery, rather than mastery and connection, become “accomplishment junkies,” always striving for the next thing and never happy with what they have.

One more word: It may be tempting to skip playtime because it seems trivial. Don’t. Play is the time children engage fully with what they are doing. So, if your preschooler is interested in taking apart an action figure over and over, let him. If your school-age child likes bicycle racing, let him work with his friends to figure out how to make his bike go faster and pursue his passion. The skills he will build as he “plays” with adjusting his spokes, installing new brakes, or searching the Internet for racing tips,are far greater than just learning about bikes.

Source: www.gather.com

Hold a door open for someone at the bank, give someone directions if they look lost or make a point to compliment three people on your way to work. Small or big, directed at friends or strangers, random acts of kindness make the person performing the kind act happier when they’re grouped together, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, an experimental psychologist at UC Riverside. Doing a considerate thing for another person five times in one day made the doer happier than if they had spread out those five acts over one week. Lyubomirsky explains that because we all perform acts of kindness naturally, it seems to please us more when we’re more conscious of it. There are social rewards, too, when people respond positively.

Source: www.time.com

Be it a slew of good jokes, a slapstick comedy or laughing yoga, find something to give you a good hearty laugh that brings tears to the eyes or a giggle fit that makes the sides of your body ache.

People are 30 times more likely to laugh in groups than alone and, not surprisingly, laughter is associated with helping to develop person-to-person connections through a feedback loop characterized by laughter, social bonding and more laughter.

Laughter, like so many other endorphin-triggers, helps to reduce certain stress hormones and, while it might be contagious, it strengthens your immune system rather than weakening it.

Source: www.time.com, photo courtesy of dieupham206